Why? Vital Little Facts

It was just not an isolated comment, people asking me as to why I had posted Vital Little Facts in such a boring drab manner. In life sometimes it is like that certain things are boring the details intimidating, but then a necessary part of life, some times things strike from nowhere, and if we are equipped it makes the impact a little less. I am reminded of a New Year eve sometime in the early nineties. New Year in Bombay used to be a big thing, and for the liberated crowd, welcoming the New Year in style, and of  the many places where the crowds used to gang up nothing  like the Gate way, with the Sea for company.

Though I was neither a witness nor part of the happening, in fact I knew about it only after it all happened. Sundar was part of our crowd, a person who had his share of experiences, he lost his father within days of his birth, the eagerly awaited son after three daughters, but then for his mother it was too much to accept, natural it would have been a mix of feelings, so difficult to fathom,  the reality of the loss of the husband, or to thank god for the son… small mercies maybe there was some sort of feelings shown on him for I had heard him mentioning that it was his sister who had brought him up, but then he was close to his mother and he had the best of relations with her .

 Coming back to the New year eve, the fact that his brother in law did not return home would have been uppermost in their minds, still the thought that maybe he had a drink too much and was put up in some friends place. After all the day was like that you could rarely think in the extreme. The anger at these times of the person’s irresponsibility, and being the times that it was there was no way he could have contacted them. As time kept going their searches and phone calls proved futile, so much so they had to complain in the nearest police station, which promptly put him in the missing persons list. Along with their searches told them the places where they would have to contact, to find out ultimately that he had died in a train accident.

The agony of the loss of a loved one in a normal situation itself is huge and coming to terms with it takes time, and here when it is an accident it is a bolt from the blue. It is in times like this that Vital Little Details helps, the pain and the loss will be much less. Once when you know that the system is co-operative the people are supportive and that the formalities will be taken care, for no matter what   in situations like this there is no way you can avoid the morgue, the postmortem or the graveyard and the things associated with it.

 For him, then it was not like that, he was experiencing for the first time the loss of someone who had been so close to him. a person, who was part of his life, for so many years. His feelings apart the fact that he had to break the news to his sisters and mother was something which only a person who has undergone such an experience will be able to empathize with. He had to go through such a harrowing time to sort out all the so called formalities, made so very difficult, (to say the least) by the system, and the attitude of the persons who supported it. For them it was nothing other than a means of making some more money, in the process compounding the sorrow of the affected persons, and the crudity of it all was even more heartbreaking.

So much so he was so disgusted that he ultimately left Bombay,(as if it could happen only there?) the place he liked so much and took up a job in Chennai…. But then as always time is a big healer and some years later he was back to Mumbai.

Facing the Music

I was shifting through some old boxes kept on the loft on a Sunday morning, when in one of those boxes were cassettes filled to occupy every little space .. that was a time cassettes ruled the market, and whether it was the new releases of a movie or devotional cassettes  or any other sort of music it was  bought and it used to be neatly arranged , to hear whenever it was necessary when did it give way, technology  keeps on changing but the love for music has always been there. The word music is very hard to define it is such a broad category including so many music  which almost makes no sense to the layman  but  all music evolves ,crossing paths with other sounds, other people, other ideas, almost any sound out there can connect with our lives

I remember the Radio at home with all the valves and sort of technology which  today you can never imagine that you could have used it  with its limited stations and specific times  that it used to operate. My father once  home used to switch on the radio and some classical stuff would   be playing and he would be busy with his accounts.  Even in his later years he never found it to be a disturbance I used to keep the radio near my head while going to sleep there was nothing to beat it listening to music in bed, and you never knew when sleep hit you  and most of the time I used to doze  off without switching it off.  The sound  that it used to make, becuase the programmes would end early would make anyone come and switch it off . The scolding’s always accompanying  it would be really something, and those were times I would decide, to buy a radio for my exclusive use . At school such thoughts were the order of the day.

Music in some way or other expresses itself and  is entwined with a lot of memories think of the time when there used to be gramophone box at home with those huge records the lever on the side adjusting the pin and the music would flow..and  of the time when I was in Bombay the irani restaurants as  was the order of the day right from fountain  to Ballard pier, opera house or Sion  almost all Irani Hotels used to be in a corner and this particular hotel, the name i do not remember overlooking the chow patty beach  along with the  chai  and bunmaska and  a coin operated music box , where you could listen to the music of your choice ..Wondering whether it is still there.

Music  like so many other aspects of life has made people better,  there are some who have become so famous and  some who barely make ends meet but even in them there is good music and just being successful in the materialistic sense does not necessarily make a person a good musician. It is a passion which makes a person keep on with it . Nearer home there is Nephew of mine who started dabbling with music right from college, started his own band while he was in Pallakad called Fort Natives . Later when he shifted to Bangalore he along with his freinds started another group and called  it  as Maple reed, juggling with work at Dell, and finding time to attend practice sessions and attending programs. Life is not always  a roller coaster ride but he has also managed to conduct stage shows and recorded his works, though the real break he feels is somewhere round the corner. At the same time there are persons who have made it happen very early in their career  like the Kolaveri song sung by Dhanush and  to think that the the composer is someone who is still in his teens...life goes on and it is not just the music you face..

Being Prepared

As I had written earlier, totally at the most unexpected time I received the news that my father had passed away. The situation was bad ,that did not mean you could just sit there and wish things would happen. It does not happen that way. There are things which have to be sorted out, and to be done.

Actually as per plan all four of us had planned to leave Friday evening to Kerala, and Wednesday morning, the call comes that he had passed away. First I had to go to the station and see that the tickets were cancelled, going by train was ruled out. My wife was enquiring with the airlines people ,and the next flight to Kozhikode was only in the evening the morning flight had already left, after confirming the availability, and asking him to hold the ticket went to station to cancel the ticket. from there to the bank and to a friend to get the money organized.

At the Airlines office it was quite a wait, they were busy with their work, it was an emergency for me, that did not mean everything else will stop and only my work will be done, they were going about with their job, other persons were dropping in, their work was being attended to .I was thinking of the Sunday, when totally un expected his call had come. It used to be a routine that I used to call him every Sunday evening and speak to him but that sunday morning he called ..... then i did not know then would be his last call to me, there was nothing I could not speak to him we shared a bond that really understood the other.

When he called that morning, he sounded even more cheerful than on other days he spoke to me, and to my wife, he spoke for an unusually long time, at the back of my mind though happy to receive the call  there was some sort of premonition that at most times defies any logic that something was wrong but then the optimist that I was just brushed it aside, after all in just two days we were going to Kerala and that I would  be  meeting  him ,he told me that since Ihe had already called I need not call him ,and that came  so very true  for I was not able to speak to him at all,, just thinking of the last time I had been to Kerala, and when I was leaving there ,he came to the entrance and he was weeping his heart out ,that is the image that keeps  coming to my mind and that time I did not think that was the last time that I would see his physical self.

I had to get to Kerala that was the only work that i had to do, all other preparations were getting organized out there. The day wore on in the evening went to the Airport , phone calls were coming but then at that time every thing   is in a daze, and somehow there is no desire to speak.

 At Kozhikode It was raining very heavily  and normally It would take another three hours to reach my house from the Airport the car which we hired and the driver was good Driving in the dark and in the rains was quite a task and anyone familiar with the rains in Kerala know what I am speaking about as we reached home the rain was still pouring and the thought of going in such changed situation was really very difficult.

 To console and to, be consoled and not to hear the familiar voice was something heartbreaking. It was past ten thirty the lights were burning all around there were people in  the courtyard  no other choice but to go  and see  and share  and be a part of things which you can never escape  an experience of a life time my father was lying in the glass case.no knowing smile ...no hearty welcome..... what ever was going in him i did not have the knowledge to understand. Maybe he had welcomed me as usual ..... and he had spoken to me but to me  and the others he was just lying still.

Vital Little Details

A life in a little known place, an individual on his own, from the time he wakes up till he gets back to sleep. His day his spent as per his way of living, to which he is accustomed. Most of the days it is as ordinary as the other days. If he is a person who is already going for a job then the morning preparation to get to office, at office his interaction with his colleagues and his output, and the profitability of his enterprise and the satisfaction which he derives from that is directly reflected in the way he lives and the problem he encounters and the solution which he finds.

Only when he encounters something out of the ordinary does he realize where he actually stands, and what is actually required. In the place where we live we find that in our immediate neighborhood people may recognize us, we may be friendly, and in case of an emergency there is some sort of support mechanism. When we step out from the safety of our house or the immediate neighborhood, where do we stand, in case of an emergency, the first step is, after..... what has happened ? information, does it reach the targeted person.

 As a first step the individual has to have full personal details with him in this case an id card then there should be specific place where it should be kept,which in case of an eventuality will be of help to the persons who come forward to help The persons involved in the rescue works should know whom to contact in case of an emergency. The needs of the society has to be redefined, the government or the governing body has to find ways and means to store information of everyone in its vicinity and has to be updated on a day to day basis and find ways and means to impart it  to the public This flow of information, has to cover every aspect of a person’s life.Governing is a complex issue but then we should find ways and means to make it simple when there is an emergency either personal or otherwise.

There should be specific places where every information of the people living in that area and all their details can be assessed, the services which are available, the places and persons to be contacted  has to be mentioned the contact persons and their accountability it could be an ambulance which is required  in case of an accident, or a call taxi, or the telephone number of lawyers , or ministers or anybody for that matter, any sort of service which a Non governmental Organisation or a service organisation is providing, there are so many people providing yeoman service in all most all aspects of human life this should be highlighted and be known to the common man and ensured that there should be no obstruction or delay in these matters and it reaches the targeted people in the least possible time and the best possible manner.

Public places should provide information related to public causes only personal data or matters not useful to the public should not be displayed. Public transport should be encouraged to display this information. Public servants should be provide with details of such information, all possible ways and means should be taken that in case of an eventuality the persons affected are able to get information or be helped with it. This can be very vital in some cases and helpful in most cases.

A welcome Visit

Today it will be difficult to find someone without a mobile, once upon a time the land line was the undisputed king and the Telephone Directory was an important part of any office. The importance of the person lay in the fact of his being  listed in the Telephone Directory, having a personal line at home was an achievement Communication what we see today was unimaginable ..certainly rapid strides to say the least. think of It was somewhere in the better part of the nineties. There was no telephone line at home, the only contact number was the office line, and letter writing a very important  part of life.

 As I was not feeling well i had not gone to  office and was confined to the bed..i really do not find a proper answer to what happened in that night, there was a knock on the door and as I opened the door  I saw my grandmother her frail bent self standing there, the first thought that struck me  was how  at her age did she manage to climb the flight of steps, I was living on the second floor, 'Muthachi' I said as i  overcome with happiness,spontaneously  lifted her and took her into the house. Only to be awakened from sleep.

The next day  an office colleague Ramesh came home ,  to say that there was a phone from Kerala to say that my grandmother had passed away, that was when everything fell in place her image as she stood there was all that was in my mind and my hair stood on end, what was it that made me see her so vividly to think about it my grandmother in all years did not go from the district she was born, and even if she had to go to meet a  relative or to the vadakot temple which they went every year was by walking. Such a person crossed districts and a state to come and meet me in Madras, which is something which  till today defies any logic.

There was no way I could miss the trip to Kerala. I t was raining heavily there, wherever there was road and field was filled with water and one or two boats were there,  a sight I have not seen their till today kept the luggage in  boat, and held hands with my wife and walked in thigh deep water to reach my ancestral home to pay respects to the departed soul.

 I have vacated from that house in Madras but then that image and the thought that she had come to me ,is still fresh with a lot of memories  of her but i still wonder what was it that made her come to me that Night, she never expressed herself much , but whenever i went to Kerala  there was geniuine happiness in her, though there are photos of her in my album. there is no framed photo of hers adorning the wall in my ancestral house or in her son's house.Actually does it really matter ?

The Call in the night

The call that come four years ago on Aril 13^th..... Actually that started it all….It was like any other night, the next day was Vishu in Tamil Nadu ,Tamil New Year, the call came, from wellington telling that my father was not well and had been admitted in the hospital, asking me to come immediately. He had gone there just recently from Kerala he had his house there, that was the place he had lived for more than forty years so there was a great affinity that he had towards that place, so much so that even after retirement he used to go  there often,

 He was used to the cool climate out there, he had his contacts, fifty years and more is not a short time and for his friendly nature he had a considerable number of friends. Once out there he used to keep himself busy he used to go to the place he worked, collect the rent and was doing some trading in Tea powder which he used to get from the estates and send it to a few traders in Kerala in short he used to keep himself busy, it was a routine once in two months trip.

 By the time the call came all the trains to Coimbatore had left so went to the Bus terminus at Koyambedu, it was a huge place filled with people all on the way to go to their place to celebrate the New Year, the sheer crowd  on that night compared to the availability of buses was something which was shocking every time a bus was seen coming a crowd used to run towards it without even knowing where the bus was going, the pitiable part was people with so much of luggage and their families and children, there was no way one could get a bus even if you got one you never knew when it will start and reaching the destination was another problem, returned from the bus terminus since I was already late I got in and lay on the sofa and planned to catch the early morning train going to  Coimbatore ,

  I had dozed for some time when there was another call from wellington the caller was frantic when he knew that I had not started, it was understandable though there were a lot of friends and known people and my brother and his small son, still in matters like this I had to be there:  he asked  me to start immediately as the hospital where he was admitted had wanted him to be shifted to another hospital, I left to the Station it was around 3.30 a.m somehow managed to get an auto reached the station and when the train came into the platform got in and sat, the train was scheduled to start only at 6.15,what way to spend the New year.

 As the morning  set in and the train had moved for considerable time, I called up my mother to tell her the news she thought I was calling to wish her New year, I told her the matter she was in Kerala not aware of anything ,she was worried to say the least I told her once I reached I would call and let her know the details it was evening when  I reached Coonoor by then he was admitted to a hospital in Coonoor, Sagayamatha hospital to which place I took an auto, and there my father was sitting his jovial self  talking and laughing with a lot of people who had come to see him. No sign of the tension or difficulty  of the previous night It looked as if he was sitting at home  with no problem whatsoever that was him he could keep himself happy and others also happy, he had the gift of the gab, which endeared him to many.

Early Morning - A different day

I was returning home after an early morning walk as the door opened, everyone's eyes though engrossed in their own activity was on me. From somewhere a  voice was asking was why i had not taken my mobile. The important part , the answer to the question was yet to follow... that my father had died the news came so abrubtly, such an important close and valuable association  of my life was not to be, they had called on my Mobile to convey the news, the news that i had not heard on my mobile pushed me to a confused state of inactivity not knowing how to react,really not ready to believe and heart of heart hesitant that my silence would somehow throw up the inevitable... that no such thing had happened but that was not be the details followed , that in the morning my mother had gone to his room to notice that the inevitable had happened.. he had passed away in his sleep.. Even now at times in the morning i do not take my mobile