Being Prepared

As I had written earlier, totally at the most unexpected time I received the news that my father had passed away. The situation was bad ,that did not mean you could just sit there and wish things would happen. It does not happen that way. There are things which have to be sorted out, and to be done.

Actually as per plan all four of us had planned to leave Friday evening to Kerala, and Wednesday morning, the call comes that he had passed away. First I had to go to the station and see that the tickets were cancelled, going by train was ruled out. My wife was enquiring with the airlines people ,and the next flight to Kozhikode was only in the evening the morning flight had already left, after confirming the availability, and asking him to hold the ticket went to station to cancel the ticket. from there to the bank and to a friend to get the money organized.

At the Airlines office it was quite a wait, they were busy with their work, it was an emergency for me, that did not mean everything else will stop and only my work will be done, they were going about with their job, other persons were dropping in, their work was being attended to .I was thinking of the Sunday, when totally un expected his call had come. It used to be a routine that I used to call him every Sunday evening and speak to him but that sunday morning he called ..... then i did not know then would be his last call to me, there was nothing I could not speak to him we shared a bond that really understood the other.

When he called that morning, he sounded even more cheerful than on other days he spoke to me, and to my wife, he spoke for an unusually long time, at the back of my mind though happy to receive the call  there was some sort of premonition that at most times defies any logic that something was wrong but then the optimist that I was just brushed it aside, after all in just two days we were going to Kerala and that I would  be  meeting  him ,he told me that since Ihe had already called I need not call him ,and that came  so very true  for I was not able to speak to him at all,, just thinking of the last time I had been to Kerala, and when I was leaving there ,he came to the entrance and he was weeping his heart out ,that is the image that keeps  coming to my mind and that time I did not think that was the last time that I would see his physical self.

I had to get to Kerala that was the only work that i had to do, all other preparations were getting organized out there. The day wore on in the evening went to the Airport , phone calls were coming but then at that time every thing   is in a daze, and somehow there is no desire to speak.

 At Kozhikode It was raining very heavily  and normally It would take another three hours to reach my house from the Airport the car which we hired and the driver was good Driving in the dark and in the rains was quite a task and anyone familiar with the rains in Kerala know what I am speaking about as we reached home the rain was still pouring and the thought of going in such changed situation was really very difficult.

 To console and to, be consoled and not to hear the familiar voice was something heartbreaking. It was past ten thirty the lights were burning all around there were people in  the courtyard  no other choice but to go  and see  and share  and be a part of things which you can never escape  an experience of a life time my father was lying in the glass case.no knowing smile ...no hearty welcome..... what ever was going in him i did not have the knowledge to understand. Maybe he had welcomed me as usual ..... and he had spoken to me but to me  and the others he was just lying still.